


Crush (Tom Holland x Reader)

by KaciiGamer



Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, First Crush, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Insert, Secret Crush, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-19 02:44:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14865146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaciiGamer/pseuds/KaciiGamer
Summary: Everyone has a crush on someone in some point in their life, sometimes it's wanted, other times they try to push it away. Through the multiple stages of having a crush, the person goes through a roller coaster of emotions and by the end of that ride they are faced with an event that can either make or break that trial.Y/n deals with the stages of her crush on her best friend, Tom Holland; something she never expected to grow out of being a childhood likeliness.





	1. Preview

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been so long since I’ve put something up and I swear I have a good reason for that! My attention span is the size of a peanut and that has only resulted in me working on multiple things at once (and I work now so that’s always a factor). Other than that, I present you with Crush; the preview.

**Crush /krəSH/**

**Noun, informal, a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.**

**Synonyms: infatuation, obsession, love, passion; _informal_ puppy love.**

Crushes can come in many forms and many levels; childhood crushes, teenage crushes, adult crushes, puppy love, infatuation, and love. With those multiple forms comes the multiple levels of having a crush:

Observation; you’re merely watching the person, taking notice of the little things others may miss upon a single glance.

Denial; questioning the thought of even liking said person because ‘what’s the point?’.

Acceptance; when you come to the realization that those butterflies in your stomach, the way the world seems so much brighter when they’re around, why you can’t stop smiling when they’re brought up in the conversation, point to one thing: you  _like_ like them.

Announcement; finally admitting to yourself, your friends, the  _world_  that you have a crush, that all of your feelings were valid and maybe even growing over time no matter how many times you tried to stop it.

And lastly, the decisions that make or break the stray emotion, Requited and Unrequited. Everyone goes through them, some may be provoked to act on the sensation:

_“You know, you should just tell him you like him! You’ve known him since middle school, you know.”_

_“You don’t have to lie to me, I can tell by the blush on your face you still have feelings.”_

And some may even go through with it, or choose to stay back and see if the feelings run their course:

_“Ha, and what, be forced to live with the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way? Nice try, but I’d rather lay low.”_

_“That was four years ago, it’s nothing now.”_

But, we all know that the only thing that will truly get rid of the menace that is a crush is the final piece of evidence, either the crush is reciprocated or it will come to a crumbling halt as the person who is being crushed on is either unattainable or does not feel the same way.

In these stages, the “crusher” will go through a roller coaster of emotions and a flurry of changes, and with the proper help of friends and their own self conscience, they may be able to rise up against the invading, and sometimes unwanted feelings, or fall subject and face either an impending doom or shocking happy ending.

Who knows, though?

It’s only a crush.


	2. Observation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n has known Tom ever since she was in middle school so how exactly was she supposed to handle the flutter in her stomach whenever he came around?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, as I promised, the first chapter of Crush! Be advised it is pretty long so bear with me, not every chapter will be as long as this one.
> 
> Y/n/n = Your nickname

**“Remember yourself. Deep inside, you have an observer, a constant neutral witness to your posture, gesture, facial expression, breathing, taste, impressions of light and sound. Don’t leap to interpret. Just be there and observe.” – Jonathan Price, Put That in Writing**

It all started in Sophomore year of high school.

The morning bell rang as students filed themselves into the classroom, many of which were chatting with their friends or finding their seats before the lesson began.

Y/n sat near the window, her head bent down as she mindlessly doodled in her open notebook, hoping her classes would fly by so she could go home and have the weekend to herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t like having Mr. Hanson as her calculus teacher, she just didn’t like math in general, but having it with Mr. Hanson made it tolerable.

“Whatcha drawing?”

The sudden cheery voice in her ear caused Y/n to jump, whipping her head around to see her best friend, Kelsi, leaning over her shoulder with a million-dollar smile etched onto her face.

“Jesus, Kelsi! If I have a heart attack I’d rather it be from something deep fried and delicious, not from my best friend!” She gave an exasperated laugh, brushing away the strands of hair that fell in front of her line of view.

“Well, it sucks that you decided to choose me as your ideal human for the rest of your life, now doesn’t it?” Kelsi smiled daringly before quickly snatching the notebook off of Y/n’s desk, ignoring the hushed yelled of protest from the girl on her left.

“Kelsi, what the actual-!”

“Oooh, I see someone has been drawing some headshots of a certain Holland boy in our class,” Kelsi spoke in a sing-song voice, her hazel eyes scanning quickly over the three scattered drawings strewn across the otherwise math filled paper.

Y/n huffed out a puff of air, getting out of her chair to snatch the notebook back, “Oh, I am so throwing away your half-finished tub of Mint Chocolate Chip when I get home unless you give me my notebook, you swiper!”

In almost an instant Kelsi froze, her eyes snapping to Y/n’s e/c ones, “You wouldn’t dare.”

Y/n glared back, her stare as hard as steel, “I would, McDarren, now give it!”

There was a moment of silence between the two before Kelsi sighed and reluctantly gave the notebook back to her friend. “You know, you should just tell him you like him! You’ve known him since middle school, you know.”

“Ha, and what, be forced to live with the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way? Nice try, but I’d rather lay low; I mean, it’s only high school, I’d rather stick with our friendship.”

She shifted her gaze to her notebook, carefully smoothing out the page before a pair of familiar voices caught her attention.

“I almost had it down too, you should have seen me, mate!”

Tom and Harrison walked through the door, both laughing cheerfully as they headed for their seats which were, ironically, in front of Kelsi and Y/n, respectively. Though they were walking relatively normal, for Y/n it felt as if time slowed as she stared at Tom; his brown hair styled into his normal fluffy curls and the same gorgeous smile reaching his eyes, showing that it was truly genuine.

She would have continued to stare if it weren’t for something small and hard hitting the side of her face, causing her to flinch and instantly lock eyes with Kelsi, who had an innocent smile on her face.

Y/n gave her an ‘I know you did that’ glare, making a mental note to send her a picture of her beloved ice cream hovering over the trash once she got home.

“Hey Y/n, Kelsi,” Harrison called as he and Tom reached their seats, Tom nodding along as a greeting.

“Hi Harrison,” Y/n smiled before feeling her face heat up in anticipation, “H-Hi Tom.” She instantly cursed herself as soon as she stuttered, already feeling as if her entire world was collapsing in on her.

“Hello boys! Ready for today’s quiz?” Kelsi quickly shifted the attention to her, shooting Y/n a knowing look before engaging in conversation with the two boys.

As they talked Y/n snuck a few glances at Tom, her heart catching each time she would lock eyes or see him smile or his eyes sparkle with the beauty of the stars. She longed to go back to the years when looking at him didn’t cause her heart to do flips and her mind to buzz with whether she looked presentable or not. It was only high school, she reminded herself. There’s no reason to get caught up in a high school crush.

* * *

Once Junior year hit it seemed like everyone hit a shift; puberty was at it’s prime for almost everyone, people started thinking of their futures and what they wanted to be, school spirit was at an all time high, and the idea of relationships becoming a serious deal started to become apparent.

“And that’s how I ended up crying in the ice cream isle of the grocery store,” Y/n spoke, a knowing smile on her face as Kelsi laughed, hugging her sides in pain as she doubled over.

“Y-You did?! Oh, I feel so bad! Sucks that Harrison is still on that family vacation of his, I’m sure it would have been priceless to have the both of them freaking out.” She continued to laugh, albeit quieter than before as she leaned against the cobalt blue lockers.

“Yeah, Tom felt so bad too, but I can’t blame him for it, I told him I get emotional on my period which, now that I think about it, should be considered weird to share with one of your male best friends.” She shrugged as she shoved another textbook into the cramped locker, decorated with pictures of he friends and little reminder notes for herself.

“Oh, are you telling the ice cream story?” Tom’s voice came out of nowhere as he walked up behind Y/n, resting his right hand against the strap of his backpack that was slung over his shoulder.

She felt her face warm almost instantly at his voice, a wave of goosebumps flowing over her skin. “Yeah, I was, I couldn’t get enough of describing your face, you were so scared! You were all like ‘Oh, please don’t cry! I-I’m sure they have chocolate fudge brownie somewhere else!’” She mocked his voice by dropping hers as low as she could before Tom pinched her cheek. “Hey!”

“I don’t sound like that, Y/n/n.”

Before Y/n could get a rebuttal in, a group of three girls walked by, giggling loudly before one with blonde hair turned her head towards Tom, “Hey, Tom!” Her tone was so obviously flirty that Y/n and Kelsi cringed, thought Tom was blissfully oblivious.

“Hey.” He gave them a short wave, causing all three girls to giggle once more as they continued to walk away.

“Hey, Tom!” Kelsi mimicked, making Y/n laugh as she shut her locker.

“If they needed to be more obvious they could have just written ‘I’m single’ across their foreheads.” Y/n sighed, looking up to face a dumbfounded Tom.

“What are you guys talking about?”

Y/n and Kelsi stared at him with shocked looks before turning to each other with arched eyebrows, before snickering with knowing sighs.

“What?”

“Tom,” Y/n started, adjusting her bookbag on her back, “Those girls who just walked by? They’re into you.”

“So very, blatantly, into you.” Kelsi finished, hiking her bookbag onto her shoulder.

“No they’re not.” Tom scoffed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to call their bluff.

“Kelsi, care to demonstrate?” Y/n mused, knowing how her friend was at flirting.

“I’d be honored to, I was gonna start heading to class anyways.”

The duo watched as Kelsi casually walked down the hall before stopping in front of two guys talking a few lockers down, obvious jocks by the sports jackets they wore. She twisted her hair and visibly giggled then walked off, flirtatiously waving at the two before disappearing around the corner.

“That’s basically what they did, Tom.” Y/n smirked, pushing herself off of her locker as she and Tom began to walk to their class.

“Okay, well, like you said, it was too obvious! What if they’re just doing it to do it? What would you do if you were to flirt with me?”

She internally froze at his words, her heart beating hard against her ribcage. “I-I mean I wouldn’t, because we’re best friends, but-but if I did, I would…” Her conscience was screaming at this point, all the possible alarms telling her to stop while she’s ahead, to pump the breaks and proceed with caution.

“If I were to flirt with you I’d,” She took a deep breath, “I’d compliment you on your hair, because let’s be honest, the curls are a total chick magnet, then I would constantly look from your eyes then to the floor or somewhere else, because eye contact is weird; just shit like that.” She huffed, trying to compose herself and hoping that answered his question fully.

Tom stayed silent for a moment, processing her words before slowly nodding along, “Okay, I suppose that makes sense.”

She internally sighed, mentally kicking herself for actually pulling that stunt.  _Don’t get caught up!_ Her conscience seemed to scream as they continued their way to class, the first bell ringing through the crowded halls.

* * *

But alas, she did get caught up, and as Senior year came people grew up, friendships changed, people aged, and feelings advanced into a broader spectrum.

“Kelsi, you promised me we would be going to Prom together! Bestie-Prom takeover, remember?” Y/n groaned, trying to get the attention of her best friend who was currently texting away on her phone.

The year was nearly over and it felt like everything was between a haze of still being high school kids and budding adults who needed to take charge of their lives.

“Yeah but that was before Gordon told me he was going to be back in time for prom! I’m sorry Y/n/n, can’t you just go with Tom or Harrison?”

“No, I can’t Kels! Harrison is going with some cheerleader and Tom is going with Lydia.” As Y/n spoke her name her voice dripped with venom, pure hatred for the rude, popular red head that Tom somehow found himself going to prom with. “Besides, I would ask Aniyah but she’s going to her girlfriend’s prom instead, and Malia isn’t even going, she’s touring colleges.”

“Well, I’m sorry but I can’t change it, Gordon already bought us tickets and picked the seats. I wish I could help you but I have to go meet up with Gordon before next class. I’ll text you later.” Kelsi hastily spoke, gathering her bookbag and tray before rushing off to the trash bin.

Y/n sighed, stabbing absentmindedly at her lunch before pushing it away. “Who needs prom anyways, right? Biggest part of your high school career and all of your friends are taken.” She mumbled, feeling tears well behind her eyes as she resting her head on her arms, wishing the bell would ring so she could go back to class.

“Hey, Haz, do you see something wrong with this scene?” Tom’s voice spoke from behind her, causing her to silently curse herself.

“Yeah, I do! Seems like a certain [height] person of ours isn’t doing too well.” Harrison’s voice seemed closer before Y/n felt a poke on the top of her head, causing her to groan.

“Well, you know what time it is then.”

Without speaking another word, the two boys sat on either side of Y/n before leaning against her, wrapping one arm each around her back.

“Fuck off.” Y/n mumbled, feeling the weight of them shift against her arms.

“Not until you tell us what’s wrong!” Harrison spoke in a sing-song voice near her ear, a smile evident on his face through his voice.

“I don’t need your bullshit, guys.”

“Y/n/n…” Tom scolded, causing her to mentally shrink in on herself, “What’s wrong? We don’t like seeing our girl down so, if we have to fight someone-”

“-Consider it done.” Harrison finished, squeezing her tightly for a second.

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to fight yourselves.” She sighed, lifting her head and resting her chin on her hands, staring off into nothingness.

“It was something we did?” Tom questioned, his eyebrows furrowing together as he studied the side of her face.

“No, at least not on purpose, it’s just,” Y/n sighed, closing her eyes so she could gather her words, “Kelsi found out that Gordon is coming back from his college tour in time for prom so she’s going with him instead of with me like she said, and I get it, he’s her boyfriend and all but she promised me that we would go and I’m just a bit mad because I have no one to go with now! You guys have dates and my other friends are either occupied or not going!”

She took a moment to catch her breath, rubbing her hands across her face before gasping, “A-And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with going to prom alone or anything but I just wanted that chance of being given a corsage and taking pictures with my closest friends, or even my boyfriend, but as we all know I’m as single as it gets now.”

Harrison and Tom frowned at their friend’s disposition, hugging her tighter as she sighed sadly.

“I’m sorry to hear that Kelsi did that to you, even when she found out Gordon was coming back in time she still should have kept the plans you two had.” Harrison spoke comfortingly, rubbing her back as he tried to think of a way to help.

“Yeah, besides, I’m sure Harrison and I can find a way to help you out, probably make a few calls?” Tom offered, looking over to Harrison with a hopeful gaze.

“For sure, I can always ask Zach, he’s a cool guy, well-mannered and everything!” Harrison beamed, thinking of his friend who was currently in class.

“Guys, please-.”

“How about Jason? He’s kind of a party animal so I guess if you’re looking to have a good time at prom then-.” Tom listed, shifting his gaze to the lunch table where Jason sat.

“No, really, I-.”

“Trent isn’t all that good, but if you’re looking for some real nice prom pictures-.”

“Guys!” Y/n huffed, planting her palms on the table as she sat up, knocking their arms off of her back. “I… It’ll be fine. I’ll just go by myself and see you guys there. It’s not that big of a deal, now, if you’ll excuse me.” As she stood up the lunch bell rang, only giving her more of a purpose to leave the cafeteria and her two best friends.

The day of prom night came faster than Y/n had hoped as she nervously flipped the small ticket in her finely manicured nails; her eyes closed as she was getting her makeup and hair done before putting her dress on.

“Is Kelsi going to come by or will we be going to her house?” Her [parent] asked eagerly, watching as their baby girl was getting ready for the night of her life.

“No, [parent], She- uh, Gordon surprised her and showed up just in time for prom, so they’re going together. I insisted.” Y/n spoke carefully, not wanting to mess up the makeup artist.

“Oh, that’s so kind of you sweetie! Here, let me get your dress so you can put it on once they finish.” Her [parent] quickly rushed out of the room, leaving Y/n with her thoughts and the company of the stylist and makeup artist.

A half hour later, Y/n was helped into her dress by her [parent], holding her [hairstyle] out of the way so her [parent] could zip the dress up in the back.

“Oh, sweetie!” Her [parent] gasped, tears gathering in their eyes as they gazed lovingly at their daughter, “I have to go get the camera! You look so beautiful!”

Y/n smiled bashfully, nodding to her [parent] before turning to look at her self in her mirror. She gasped slightly, admiring the beautifully done makeup and luscious hairstyle that her hair was done up in. Her e/c eyes scanned over the design of her dress, her hands slowly running down the sides of her body before catching a glimpse of her shoes underneath. “Holy shit.”

Her family gathered in the living room, taking photos and some shedding some tears, relishing in the heartfelt moment before the doorbell rang. Y/n’s [parent] walked off to answer the door and a few minutes she returned, her smile ten times bigger than it was before.

“Y/n, honey, there are some people who want to see you.”

Y/n turned, her eyes widening once she saw Tom and Harrison standing side by side behind her mother, Tom in a simple, yet stunning, black suit, while Harrison wore an intricately designed navy blue suit of his own.

“Guys!” She nearly yelled, a laugh escaping her lips as she fanned her face, “You guys are gonna make me cry, oh my god!”

Her family collectively laughed and awed as she walked over to pull both of them in for a group hug.

“You look amazing,” Harrison smiled widely as he squeezed her arm.

“Absolutely stunning,” Tom added, taking a moment to take in her appearance again.

“Yeah, and you two are totally rocking the whole suit look, Harrison you look like you belong in a magazine!”

“I try, I try,” He beamed, showing off his suit before laughing.

“Oh, and before we forget,” Tom moved his hand from behind his back to hold out a beautiful corsage that perfectly matched the color of her dress, “You always have to have the corsage.” He beaconed for her to hold out her arm, sliding the corsage over her hand while cameras flashed.

Y/n felt her face heat up at the attention, her heart hammering within her chest when he finally looked up at her with a smile. “O-Okay, lets get some photos so you guys won’t be late to get your dates!”

Later that night, after photos, arriving to prom, dancing, eating, and more photos, Y/n felt extremely thankful for her two best friends, even forgiving Kelsi after they spoke when the party was over.

Then, graduation came, and in the middle of the summer Kelsi moved out to the states, going to college on a full-ride scholarship and begging Y/n to come along with her, hoping to continue the bond they had. As much as it pained her, Y/n didn’t have much of a choice, not being able to move because of the cost, which caused them to have a falling out.

The way Kelsi saw it, it was a situation of ‘if you aren’t there with me physically then you might as well not be there at all’, and that’s what happened.

After doing a few short films and performances, Tom ended up striking a deal to move out to L.A to pursue his dream of acting with the support of his family and best friend, who promised to take turns travelling out to visit and accompany him to certain events.

Though his family took the news extremely well, the moment he told Y/n was the day she felt her world come tumbling down; the experience of losing one of her best friends to distance then having to give her closest friend away to the same cause eating her up inside.

He promised to spend whatever time he had left before having to leave and though there were moments of deep sadness and anguish over the move, he promised to keep in contact any way he could, vowing that their friendship could surpass any distance put between them.

But, once moving day came and went, Y/n’s heart didn’t agree to the deal as she thought it would, as she cried for three days after Tom left for L.A. Though, time passed she earned herself a job at a café and restaurant near her parent’s house, saving money to eventually get her own apartment while doing online courses for university.

* * *

_Ding, Ding!_

The soft chime of the bell snapped Y/n from her thoughts, sliding a thick packet to her side as she put on a smile to greet the customers who walked to the register.

“Hello! What can I get for you?” She spoke subconsciously, the statement etched into her precognitive set of sentences out of habit of working at the café for so long.

“How about a non-stressed Y/n and a genuine smile, yeah?” Harrison’s cheeky voice filled the atmosphere as he leaned against the counter, his cerulean blue eyes holding a playful glimmer behind them.

Y/n smiled wider, rolling her e/c eyes as she brought the packet back in front of her, “Yeah, sure, and to get that you’ll just have to convince my professor to give me an A on this essay I have yet to finish.” The packet held numerous red ink marks, self-annotated edits and revisions made by herself while she was stuck behind the counter for the day.

“Okay, well, I can’t do that but I can tell you something that will make your day a hundred times better!”

“And I’m judging by the pause you want some sort of bribe for the information, hm?”

“Information isn’t always free, love.”

Rolling her eyes again she placed her palms flat on the polished wood counter, levelling her face to his. “One cupcake.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Two and a chocolate chip cookie.” She raised her eyebrow, knowing he wouldn’t back down from that deal, “Final offer.”

Harrison pondered the deal for a moment, stroking his chin and humming is if to fake her out, “Deal.”

He stuck out his hand and Y/n took it graciously, before squeezing it tightly, “Now, spill the info before you get the reward.”

“Ow! Ow! Okay, please!” He pried his slightly aching hand from her semi-death grip, holding it closely to his chest, “Tom’s coming back in a month!”

Her heart stopped once she processed his sentence.

_Tom’s coming back in a month._

_Tom’s. Coming. Back. In. A. Month._

“Is… Is he really?”

“Yeah, he confirmed it with everyone, after they finish interviews and auditions for other movies he’s being cast in he’ll be coming back home,” Harrison spoke with a smile, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, “And we all know how much you’ve missed him.”

Y/n blushed instantly, muttering a quick ‘Shut up’ before tasking herself to get his reward for the information, which wasn’t an issue since David, the owner, loved her, and for as long as she’s been there he let her do pretty much anything.

“Oh, come on Y/n/n, you really think I haven’t caught on by now? You were showing some serious heart eyes back in high school, and then after he left you wouldn’t leave your room for four days until we had to call him to convince you that it wouldn’t be too bad while he was gone!”

“Harrison, that was four years ago, it’s nothing now, I just missed my best friend.”

Harrison sat up, leaning his hip against the counter, “You don’t have to lie to me, I can tell by the blush on your face you still have feelings,” He cocked his head to the side, attempting to get a better glimpse at her turned down face.

Y/n sighed dejectedly, closing the container for the cupcakes with a soft shake of her head, “It’s nothing, okay? Just leave it alone.”

She turned to place the container on the counter, looking up to meet Harrison’s puppy-dog pout.

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about it then we won’t, I just have one question.” The h/c haired girl tilted her head, allowing Harrison to continue, “How many cupcakes have you had this morning, because they’re usually always fully stocked and I can tell three are missing!”

Harrison’s laugh warmed Y/n’s heart as she giggled as well, appreciating the change in topic. “Hey, I’ve been here since 8 in the morning, you can’t judge me!”

“Yeah, but cupcakes that early?”

“Harrison, ‘Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.’, Brian P. Cleary,” She spoke happily, laughing as he groaned dramatically at her words.

“Oh, you know I hate it when you go all quote-savvy on me!”

Y/n continued to laugh, though his words continued to swirl in the back of her mind.

_I can tell…you still have feelings._

Maybe… But it wasn’t enough for her to risk her friendship over a fleeting emotion.


	3. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n’s feelings for Tom begin to advance, but will she actually allow herself to believe that they’re real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short because these are stages, so the length will vary between each chapter as I try to get my point across!

**“We numb our minds and heart so one need not be broken and the other need not be bothered.” – Peggy Haymes**

_It was raining, though, not the type of rain that would make you want to stay indoors; it was the type of rain that made you want to sit and watch, watch the plants be nourished, the dirt and dust washed off of cars and sidewalks. It was warm too, a soft, summer warmth that made the atmosphere feel like a comforting blanket surrounding you._

_Y/n sat on the steps of her apartment building, watching as cars drove by and pedestrians walk past, huddling themselves under their umbrellas for shelter from the shower._

_Times like these are what helped put her mind at ease, to hear the sound of millions, trillions of droplets falling from the sky, acting as a calming background noise as she was left to her own devices. Suddenly, a rain-drenched Tom was standing in front of her, his brown strands sticking to his forehead in thin curls while streaks of water ran down his face and chin. A small gasp left her lips and before she knew it she was standing in front of him, the rain beginning to soak into her clothes and dampen her hair._

_“I missed you,” Y/n spoke softly, tears pricking her eyes as her hand came to cover Tom’s that was resting against her cheek._

_“I missed you too,” He smiled, using his thumb to gently caress her cheek._

_They stared at each other, time seeming to slow down as Tom began to lean down, his beautiful chocolate eyes slowly closing as he moved closer. Her eyes flicked to his lips before she allowed her own eyes to flutter shut._

_Y/n…_

_Y/n._

_Y/n!_

Her eyes shot open as she sprung forward, her cream colored blanket falling off of her shoulders in the heat of the commotion.

Wait… What?

“Girl I’ve been calling your name for like five minutes! I made breakfast for us, since you were still sleeping,” Zendaya smiled, sitting across from Y/n on the plush mattress.

“I-I, uh,” She swallowed, her mind still fuzzy from the hyper-realistic dream she was forcefully taken from, “Yeah, Yeah, I’ll be there I just had a… really weird dream.”

Technically she wasn’t lying, it felt like it was all too real as she brought her hand to her cheek, as if she could still feel the heat radiating from Tom’s hand.

“Like dreaming about a certain friend of ours weird?” Her voice was laced with playfulness as she wiggled her eyebrows, earning a pillow to the face.

“Z, I swear I will put you in a hotel,” Y/n groaned, brushing her hair back before stretching her arms up, the bones popping from sleep.

“I mean, you did say ‘Tom’ in your sleep, and there’s only three weeks until he comes back…” Zendaya hugged the pillow to her chest as she crossed her legs to fully face her friend, “Maybe it’s cause-”

“I  _don’t_ like him! It was just a weird dream, like I said. We haven’t seen each other in a while and that’s all; besides he’s an actor, he probably has multiple girls flocking to him already, I wouldn’t put it past him if he has a secret girlfriend or something.” Y/n mumbled, picking aimlessly at her blanket to avoid Zendaya’s stare.

Zendaya rolled her eyes and scoffed at her words, hitting her in the side with the pillow softly, “God, how about a shot of truth in that denial cocktail? I’ve known you for nearly three years now and I can tell just by the way you talk about the guy that you’re hooked! Besides,” She poked at Y/n’s cheek, prompting her to look up, “do you really think Tom, of all people, would have a  _secret_  relationship?”

The two girls stared at each other before bursting into laughter, followed by a short giggle fit as Y/n sighed lightly.

“Okay, you may have a point, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t rule out the media entirely, I mean, what if they have something right? Except, you know, that whole you and him dating stuff.”

“Oh god, I wish they would give that up,” Zendaya grimaced, shuddering lightly before waving her hand, “Plus, would it hurt for you to even hint at it towards him?” She tilted her head to the side, her expression a mix of concern and sadness, “What are you so afraid of, babe?”

The words struck Y/n like a lightning bolt, sending her mind into a spiral and her heart aching for some truth in this situation. What was she so afraid of? Why did it seem like the mere thought of being romantically attracted to Tom caused her to feel so unprepared?

“I… I don’t know Z. I- It’s just,” She could feel her throat begin to tighten as pinpricks of tears began to sting behind her eyes, shifting her gaze immediately towards the blanket. “It’s a waste of time, he’s out there making something of his life while I’m just here trying to get by, I could never keep up with that you know? And-And I just… I don’t want to risk losing him over something so… small. I don’t want anything to change.” A hot tear rolled down her cheek, falling off of her chin to land on her oversized pajama shirt.

“Oh, babe…” Zendaya immediately crawled over to where Y/n sat, wrapping her arms around her shoulders securely and resting her chin on top of Y/n’s head, “It’s okay, I’m sorry for pushing you with these questions, please don’t cry!”

Y/n laughed bitterly, sniffling as she wiped another tear away, “I’m sorry I can’t help it! You remember how bad I cried during Toy Story 3, I’m like a water balloon ready to pop!”

“Yeah, you and Tom were bawling your eyes out, I was only crying because you two were crying!”

They both laughed, Zendaya squeezing Y/n tightly a moment after.

“Alright, let’s get out of bed, we’ve got breakfast to make!”

Y/n’s eyebrows furrowed together, “Didn’t you say that  _you_ made breakfast when you woke me up?”

A nervous chuckle left Zendaya’s lips, “Well, you see, I might have just said that to get you to wake up and make those amazing cinnamon pancakes that you refuse to tell me the recipe for!”

“It’s a family secret! Besides you could have learned it a long time ago if you didn’t keep zoning out and trying to convince yourself to not eat the bacon till all the food is done.” She laughed out, pushing Zendaya lightly as she crawled out of her bed.

Zendaya rolled her eyes playfully, following Y/n’s move and following her out of the room and towards the kitchen, leaning against the deep brown marble island. “Would you rather me eat the bacon? Would you? Huh?”

“I don’t know, Z, do you think I can’t see you out of the corner of my eye taking the smallest pieces?” Y/n spoke while gathering the ingredients for the pancakes, rummaging through the cabinets with a smirk on her lips.

“I swear you have that motherly instinct sometimes and it’s scary,” Zendaya gasped, flicking a strand of curls behind her shoulder and leaning deeper against the counter.

“It helps, I can be the mom friend sometimes, you know,” Y/n hummed, placing the ingredients in her hands on the island in a small group before wiping her hands on her pajama shirt. “Alright, today I’m going to teach you how to make these, are you ready?”

Zendaya smiled before cheering, acting as if there was a crowd behind her, “Yeah! We’re ready chef!”

Before Y/n could make a move, there was a knock at the door, causing her to furrow her eyebrows and look to Zendaya. “Are… Are you expecting someone?”

Zendaya stared back at Y/n, confusion wrapping around her face before her eyes lit up, jumping away from the counter, “Oh yeah! I invited Harrison over for breakfast! You know group breakfasts are the best breakfasts.” She walked with a pep in her step towards the door, nearing the doorknob.

“Wait!” Y/n yelled, stopping Zendaya in her tracks, “You could have told me so I could have put pants on!” She ran out of the kitchen and towards her room, Zendaya’s laughter following her through the hall.

“Sorry!”

After bounding into her room and slamming the door shut, Y/n let out a breath, resting her back against the cold door. Her heart was pounding, not only from the running but from the swirling of her mind as she was brought back to the thought of Tom. Was it truly that bad to have a crush on him?

Her heart fluttered as an image of him flashed across her mind; picturing the stars in his chocolate brown eyes, the adorable way he ran his hand through his curls in an attempt to fix them, only for them to fall back into place, the way his smile seemed to brighten up the room, and how his laugh made it seem like heaven was singing. 

How could someone be so ashamed of liking someone like Tom? Why was she trying to push it away if all she wanted to do was feel his arms wrapped tightly around her body, hugging her and sheltering her from all the bad in the world?

“Y/n! Come on, we’re hungry!” Zendaya whined, almost giggling immediately after.

“Yeah, come on! It’s pancake time!” Harrison called immediately after.

Y/n huffed and rolled her eyes happily, her nerves put at ease as she opened the door and walked out, her stride much cheerier. Zendaya was the first to spot her, her head tilting her head to the side in pure confusion.

“Uh, your pants?”

“SHIT!”

* * *

The next few days were filled with ‘family’ breakfasts and Zendaya and Harrison’s constant prodding at Y/n’s unacknowledged feelings towards Tom; and despite the numerous times she would turn them away, they would never stop hinting at it.

“You know, I was thinking of dying my hair orange then getting a face tattoo.” Zendaya smirked as she watched Y/n type away at her phone, a small smile on her lips as she continued on.

“Sure, Z, whatever you say.”

Zendaya rolled her eyes before pinching her friend on the arm, causing her to jump in pain.

“What the heck? Why’d you do that?!” Y/n rubbed her arm with a pout as Zendaya shook her head with a laugh.

“I’ve been asking you what you wanted to have for dinner and you’ve been standing there typing away to Tom for the past three minutes with that love-struck smile on your face!” She leaned against the shopping cart, nodding her head to Y/n’s cell phone knowing full and well who she was talking to.

The h/c haired girl blushed as she locked her phone, stuffing it in her pocket with a guilty smile, “Sorry, I was just- wait! I did  _not_  have a love-struck smile on my face! It was a regular smile from talking to one of my closest  _friends_!”

“Uh, huh, and I’m sure you have that same exact smile when you talk to me, or Harrison, or anyone else for that matter?”

Y/n rolled her eyes with a scoff, leaning against the side of the metal cart while giving Zendaya her full attention, “Alright, I’ll stay off of my phone, I’m all yours! No more being distracted by T-” Before she could finish her sentence her phone chimed, notifying her of a new text. Her heart dropped as all current motivations screamed to check the message; her brain going off as if she were a teenage girl again.

“No more being distracted by who, now?” Zendaya teased, tilting her head to the side allowing her hair to cascade around her shoulder.

Y/n sucked in a breath, narrowing her eyes in a challenge, “By To-” Another chime rang through the air, causing Zendaya’s smile to grow; little giggles bubbling past her lips.

“Who?”

As she went to open her mouth she was beat by a third chime. “Fucking- God damn it!” Swiping her phone from her pocket she hastily checked the missed messages as Zendaya laughed louder, a wave of heat rushing over her. “It’s not a crush!”

* * *

“Do you like him?”

“No.”

“Do you  _like_  like him?”

“No.”

“Are you sure you don’t-”

“I don’t!”

Y/n sighed as she continued to wipe down the tables at her job, Harrison’s voice following her around like Navi does Link in the Zelda games.

“But don’t you think he’s at least slightly cute?” He mused, crossing his arms with a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Yeah- I mean, n-no! I mean, he’s- we’re- the friend type of ‘cute’, you know?” She groaned as Harrison laughed in victory, turning on her heel to hide herself away in the back of the store.

“Do you think I’m cute?” He called after her, his million-dollar smile reaching his eyes in glee.

“I think you should go home!”

Harrison laughed harder as he went back to his table and coffee, feeling accomplished as he watched the bustling streets through the windows.

* * *

“How long as she been asleep?”

“About an hour now.”

“Do you think she’s dreaming about him again?”

“I don’t know, the last time I heard her saying his name in her sleep, so maybe?”

Y/n groaned at the voices that slowly woke her, filling her ears with the constant back-and-forward bantering. Opening her eyes, she was met with the slightly blurry faces of Zendaya and Harrison, both a few inches from her own face.

“Ah!” She jumped and quickly sat up, letting her blanket fall from around her, “Were- Were you guys watching me sleep?!”

“Watching is such a strong word, I’d say we were just-”

“Observing.” Zendaya finished with a smile, nodding innocently as she and Harrison backed away from the now conscious girl.

“I swear to god, I’m going to make you stay with Harrison,” Y/n threatened, pointing a finger at Zendaya, “then I’m going to get my locks changed.”

“We just wanted to see if you were dreaming about Tom again,” Harrison offered, shrugging as he sat on the opposite end of the couch.

“I wasn’t- wait,  _again_? You told him that I was dreaming about Tom?!” Her head whipped to Zendaya, watching as she put her hands up in defense.

“I felt like he needed to know!”

Y/n groaned, putting her head in her hands before looking back up, her face wrapped in pure exhaustion. 

“Okay, I’m going to say this one last time. I do not have a crush on Tom, okay guys? It was high school, it was one dream, it’s nothing! There’s no deeper, hidden message behind what I’m telling you guys right now. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to finish my nap in my room with the door  _locked_ , because if I wake up to one of your faces that close to mine again, you’re getting hit.” Huffing, she threw the blanket off the rest of her body before trudging into her room, closing the door with an audible click behind her.

“She definitely has a thing for him,” Harrison spoke sadly as if he pitied her in her state of denial.

“A huge thing for him,” Zendaya agreed as she plopped herself down on the extra space of the couch.


End file.
